After taking a week off from my main project, I hopped right back into it yesterday reading it from page one.

I’m so sick of chapter one! But that’s okay, I think I got it. I really do. The right amount of movement and tension and ends on a life changing note for my main character that will launch the story.

I’m also sick of chapters two and three. The first three chapters are good and need to be set aside for even MORE distance.

But going through the others, I realize that there’s stuff I need to cut. More stuff. At least two whole scenes and one chapter. I’m going to loose thousands of words that I’ve been so diligently counting. And you know what, I’m actually glad about it!

Cutting out words and scenes is good for the story and good for me. When I come across things I can chop out, rather than feeling bad about it, it makes me feel stronger about my story. Like those first three chapters? I sent those off to my trusted writing partner at the strongest I could make them. There wasn’t anything that needed to be cut because I had already done it.

Laura still had to work of course. She came up with some very helpful and detailed suggestions. Plus, because she’s so sweet, she also gave me positive reinforcement on what details she liked.

But right now I’m going through what Laura has told me are growing pains. Again. This happens every time I come across a new project. Every time I change mediums (from sharing snippets of stories in video game forums for fun to my own blog to a short story and now to a novel) I feel inadequate and horrible. The last few times this really knocked me on my ass and though I wrote through it, I still needed a hefty dose of chocolate and some pity.

This time, I sort of feel like crap. My brain is saying that we’re not good enough yet and we need to be better. She’s really getting pushy about it too. (And that’s sort of an understatement.) Meanwhile my gut is assuring me we’re on the right track and she keeps pointing out things she likes. (She thinks she’s sneaky.) Though she also thinks we can do even better.

My point? I guess it’s just that these growing pains still really suck. But working through them feels so good.